the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
