Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
