brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize