She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
