careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
