it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
