I want to stick my p in your. b.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
