I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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