Me too!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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