so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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