Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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