she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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