she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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