Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
