Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You ate ashes out of my bong
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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