a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
