I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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