spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
