Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
