as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
