anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
