So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
