Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
