bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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