we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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