Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
