apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
me + whiskey = a bad person
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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