sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
