you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
