You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
