Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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