I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
