I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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