Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
