She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
