it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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