Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
