and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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