Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
