marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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