Just cropdusted the office
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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