respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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