everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
