please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We have started to decorate penises.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
