I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize