i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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