You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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