ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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