you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
