I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
