Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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