im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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