You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
