Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
