And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
