office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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