This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
