I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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