Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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