Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize