mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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