No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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