eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
