If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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