Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
A bitchslap is in order.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
