Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
