i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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